Two Tips to Help You Sleep Better & Dream Vividly - Part 2

January 9th, 2008

In yesterday's article I described a technique to help you sleep better and dream more vividly. Today I'll describe another technique that is also simple to practice, takes very little time, and can be done at night while lying in bed before you fall asleep.

This technique won't just help you sleep better. It also will reduce stress and will teach you how to view events in your life from a different and more productive perspective. The method is simple but the effect it can have on your outlook on life is quite profound.

There are two parts to this technique. The first part is easy. The second part is where you'll take things to a whole new level. It might be more difficult in practice than the first part but I can promise you it gets easier every day and it's the area where you'll reap the most reward.

Step 1

As you lie in bed at night before drifting off to sleep, think of something you're thankful for. It doesn't have to be something huge. Even the little things count. Being thankful for the comfortable bed you're about to fall asleep in is a good place to start.

Once you've come up with one thing you're thankful for, use that as a foundation and branch out to other things you're thankful for. If you're thankful for the bed you're lying in, you can extend that feeling into gratitude for your home or gratitude for the electricity that keeps so many things in your home running from day to day or gratitude that you live in a safe neighborhood or gratitude for your spouse/partner lying next to you in bed. As you can see, the possibilities are endless.

Keep branching out that gratitude to touch upon other things in your life. Your job, your family, your health, your freedom — all of these areas provide a wealth of things to be thankful for, and I'm sure you can come up with dozens of other aspects of your life to be thankful for.

Spend a few minutes thinking about all these things and letting that feeling of gratitude wash over you. Let it really soak in.

When you first use this method, you'll probably be practicing it not for the gratitude itself but for the other benefits I mentioned earlier in this article — the improved sleep, reduced stress, and more meaningful, vivid dreams — but after a few days you'll realize you're practicing it for the sake of the gratitude itself, not just for the extra perks that come with it. Pay attention to that subtle change in your approach. It's a good sign.

Step 2

You've spent a few minutes thinking of all the great things in your life, all the things that bring joy and prosperity and make you happy. You've probably built up a nice surplus of good cheer. You might even be thinking, "Wow, I really do have a lot to be thankful for."

This is where things get tricky.

Now it's time to think of something that makes you unhappy, something that frustrates you or annoys you or just plain makes you feel bad.

Maybe your boss is piling more work on top of your already overwhelming workload, or you've had an argument with your spouse, or your child is failing math, or someone rear-ended your new car. As before, it doesn't have to be something huge. Little things count as much as big things. Just as I'm sure you could find plenty in your life to be thankful for, I'm guessing you won't have too much trouble coming up with one thing that's frustrating you or causing concern.

Have you come up with something yet? Good. You're ready to tackle Step 2.

Think of that one thing that's frustrating you or worrying you or making you miserable. Now find a reason to be thankful for it.

You're probably wondering how — or why — you're supposed to be thankful for something that's obviously an unpleasant part of your life. Let's start with how to do it and then we'll move on to why it's definitely worth doing.

How do you express gratitude for the bad things in life? You need to start by reframing the situation, by viewing the problem from other angles and determining how you benefit from it. Sometimes it's quite easy to reframe a bad situation, while other times it's more difficult to take a step backward and view it in a new light. You might have to ponder all the details for a while but in time you'll come up with something.

Here are a few examples to give you an idea of how you might reframe a bad situation:

1. If you've had an argument with your spouse or significant other, you're probably having a tough time trying to find anything good about that situation. After all, it's much nicer when we all get along. But try to look at the situation differently, explore it, probe it, and discover what it can do for you. If you've had an argument, be thankful you've been given an opportunity to learn patience. Be grateful for the chance to work together to find a solution and build a foundation for a stronger relationship.

2. If your child isn't doing well in school, it's clearly a troubling dilemma and it's difficult to see anything positive in it. How about being thankful that circumstances have given you an undeniably solid reason to spend extra time with your child each night, even if that time is spent helping him or her with schoolwork? Or, if that's still pushing the limit a bit too far this early in the game, how about just being grateful your child is growing up in a country where education is available to all children?

3. If your boss is piling on the work, reframe it as a challenge rather than a struggle. View it as an opportunity to test your own skills, to push yourself to excel. Be grateful for the opportunity to challenge yourself. If you need to break the situation down into a more practical form, be grateful for the job and the steady paycheck.

The goal is not to attempt a Pollyanna approach of denying that bad things happen or of refusing to think about the bad things that have happened in your life. That approach doesn't really accomplish much. Bad things happen. They're part of life, and if you refuse to think about any of the bad things that have happened in your life, you'll fail to learn the lessons those struggles could teach you. If, instead, you view those events from another perspective and reframe the situations in a different light, you can uncover the lessons buried in them and grow stronger, mentally and emotionally.

If you spend a few minutes at bedtime each night thinking about things from the perspective of gratitude, you'll sleep better and you'll feel less stressed but you'll also eventually notice a shift in how you think about things throughout the rest of the day as well.

The more gratitude you express each night and the more experience you have in reframing your view of unpleasant situations, the more things that once caused you frustration and stress will start seeming less frustrating and less stressful. You won't eliminate the cause of the stress but you'll significantly limit the effect it has on you. This technique produces a cumulative effect. The more gratitude you express, the less stress you feel. The less stress you feel, the more gratitude you'll feel. It builds on itself and the benefits reach into every corner of your life. The investment of just a few minutes each night is well worth it.